Hypothesis: Movie hackers always yell "ENHANCE!" to improve blurry images, so it should work on WiFi signals too.
Method: Stand next to the router and dramatically yell "Enhance!" while pointing at it.
Results: No improvement in WiFi signal, but significant decrease in household respect.
Conclusion: WiFi does not respond to verbal commands.
Hypothesis: If loudness equals correctness, then shouting should guarantee victory in any debate.
Method: Engage in a discussion about pineapple on pizza. Gradually increase volume.
Results: The argument remains unresolved, but now everyone is yelling.
Conclusion: Decibel levels do not correlate with correctness, but they do correlate with getting kicked out of restaurants.
Hypothesis: Energy drinks exist, so logically, yelling at caffeine should supercharge it.
Method: Brew a cup of coffee. Instead of sugar, add sheer emotional intensity by screaming at it for 30 seconds.
Results: No measurable change in caffeine levels, but the barista at Starbucks asked me to leave.
Conclusion: Screaming does not alter coffee potency, but it can alter social standing.