Hypothesis: Movie hackers always yell "ENHANCE!" to improve blurry images, so it should work on WiFi signals too.
Method: Stand next to the router and dramatically yell "Enhance!" while pointing at it.
Results: No improvement in WiFi signal, but significant decrease in household respect.
Conclusion: WiFi does not respond to verbal commands.
Hypothesis: If Schrödinger’s cat can exist in two states at once, then a car can be both parked and not parked.
Method: Attempt to parallel park using only equations and shouting "IT'S JUST A PROBABILITY WAVE!"
Results: The car is still in motion, but my insurance premium increased.
Conclusion: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle does not apply to parking tickets.
Hypothesis: Energy drinks exist, so logically, yelling at caffeine should supercharge it.
Method: Brew a cup of coffee. Instead of sugar, add sheer emotional intensity by screaming at it for 30 seconds.
Results: No measurable change in caffeine levels, but the barista at Starbucks asked me to leave.
Conclusion: Screaming does not alter coffee potency, but it can alter social standing.