Hypothesis: If heat and pressure can cook an egg, then enough passive-aggressive energy should also work.
Method: Place a raw egg on a plate. Stare at it while muttering phrases like "Oh sure, you’ll totally cook yourself." and "I guess I have to do everything around here."
Results: The egg remained raw, but the researcher experienced a mild existential crisis.
Conclusion: Further research needed. Maybe try condescension next time.
Hypothesis: Movie hackers always yell "ENHANCE!" to improve blurry images, so it should work on WiFi signals too.
Method: Stand next to the router and dramatically yell "Enhance!" while pointing at it.
Results: No improvement in WiFi signal, but significant decrease in household respect.
Conclusion: WiFi does not respond to verbal commands.
Hypothesis: If magnets can attract metal, surely they can attract stability, happiness, and financial success.
Method: Carry an industrial magnet everywhere and see if life improves.
Results: No improvement in personal circumstances, but many stolen cutlery items.
Conclusion: Magnets only attract metal, not personal fulfillment.