Hypothesis: If Schrödinger’s cat can exist in two states at once, then a car can be both parked and not parked.
Method: Attempt to parallel park using only equations and shouting "IT'S JUST A PROBABILITY WAVE!"
Results: The car is still in motion, but my insurance premium increased.
Conclusion: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle does not apply to parking tickets.
Hypothesis: If loudness equals correctness, then shouting should guarantee victory in any debate.
Method: Engage in a discussion about pineapple on pizza. Gradually increase volume.
Results: The argument remains unresolved, but now everyone is yelling.
Conclusion: Decibel levels do not correlate with correctness, but they do correlate with getting kicked out of restaurants.
Hypothesis: Movie hackers always yell "ENHANCE!" to improve blurry images, so it should work on WiFi signals too.
Method: Stand next to the router and dramatically yell "Enhance!" while pointing at it.
Results: No improvement in WiFi signal, but significant decrease in household respect.
Conclusion: WiFi does not respond to verbal commands.